Sunday, July 8, 2012

Sunday, June 17, 2012

Wedding crap

So I've got this wedding thing that will be happening at some point in the future and I've gotta get my shit together in order to make it work.  My idea behind waiting on it is that the more you plan in advance, the cheaper it will be.  I'm hoping that's true but I've hit a bit of a roadblock.

Reception venue.

So here's the run down of how this is going to be happening.  We are going to have a small ceremony, about 20 people or so.  I've never been fond of getting in front of crowds and I want our ceremony to be intimate and have real meaning behind it.  I don't want to be too nervous to cry if I want to and for serious, who loves sitting through a ceremony besides the people that are super involved (as in parents and very close friends).

So ceremony venue has been located.  It's a small wedding chapel in a historic town where my fiance and I spend a lot of our time.  From the chapel we'll be taking the 20 ceremony guests out to dinner.  Probably nothing fancy, just a tasty dinner at one of our favorite spots in our favorite little city.

From there we'll go to the reception (I'm guessing around 8 o'clock or so) where the loads of people will be.  I'm estimating a guest list of about 200 people.  We will serve them desserts and drinks and just party the night away.  No formal sit down dinner with these 200 people.  Just desserts (maybe a small amount of appetizers), flowing alcohol, a comfortable/fun atmosphere and a great time.  Here's my breakdown of what I think of wedding receptions:

Things that I don't give a fuck about:

  • Flowers - They are expensive and they die within a day
  • Decorations - Who the hell really cares what the centerpiece on a table looks like, or how the drapey fabric looked on a banister?  Seriously.
  • a Wedding cake - I don't like cake.  My fiance wants a wedding cake though.  So I plan on just picking up a small one from the grocery store.
  • Pomp and circumstance - Eff that.
  • a DJ - I have iTunes, who needs a DJ?
  • Place cards - Assigned seating seating is lame.  I want everyone to hang out with whomever they want to hang out with.
  • a "Wedding party" - I would feel like a heel if I made my good friends drop a wad of cash on a dress they'll never wear more than one day.  
  • a Reception photographer - So you pay someone to be at your party and take pictures of people he doesn't know, and consequently he doesn't know your relationship with them.  You may end up with 15,000 pictures of your first cousin twice-removed's boyfriend just because he drank too much Maker's and is making a fool of himself on the dance floor.  Lame.

Things that I give a fuck about:

  • Big guest list of the right people - Not just inviting everyone, but inviting everyone that matters
  • Fun atmosphere - Kind of like having a theme without the forced idea of it.  I would love to have pool tables and a classy club feel or maybe great music and a dance instructor, or even a playground.  I want something that will give everyone giggles and would make for an awesome night out whether it was a wedding reception or not.
  • Keeping it cheap - I'm a cheap bastard.
  • Liquor and lots of it - An open bar makes everyone happy...even kids can get their shirley temple fix.
  • Good lighting - Even a shitty place with good lighting looks classy.

Those are all the big ones.  Fun and affordable are quickly becoming the two items that are not going well together.  

Friday, May 11, 2012

Wealth makes beauty or beauty makes wealth?

Have you ever seen an extremely ugly rich person?  I'm not talking about people who haven't aged well, I mean imperfect, crooked, unbalanced.  Does money make people look better or do good looking people end up with more money?

If it were up to me, I'd do a big ol' study where participants looked at pictures of both rich and poor and judged them on a scale of ugly to gorgeous and then I would compare that data to the income of each person in the pictures.  Correlation does not imply causation, so it wouldn't prove a damn thing, I'm just curious if my personal interactions with rich and poor are a good sample and have the same correlation.

You see, I was thinking about this because I know a girl whose parents got her cosmetic surgery when she was younger.  I shit you not, she had to be younger than 18, I think.  Both her and brother got some nips and tucks and now there isn't much family resemblance between parents or children.  They're the first people I had ever met that went under the knife for beauty's sake.  I find the idea pretty awful and fascinating.  The mom in this picture always seemed a little vain to me in person, so I wondered if it was her call about the surgical changes.  I can't imagine being a girl and having your mom tell you, "Let's get you fixed."

Of course, that's probably not how any of it happened.  I barely know the family and certainly wouldn't ask for specifics about such a thing.

But back to my original question, are well-off people generally good looking because they can afford to pay to look good?  Plastic surgery certainly isn't cheap and I realize that there are tons of people out there who haven't gone under the knife, but other methods of beautification that are less invasive can still cost a substantial sum.  How about braces?  Not cheap (although much more socially accepted than surgery) and it can't be denied that crooked teeth are generally considered an unattractive feature.  How about dance lessons?  Now these can be cheap in the short term, but if the child sticks with it, it gets progressively more and more expensive.  Dancing gives you a lean figure which is certainly more attractive than the converse.

Next the question that comes to mind is when you look at someone and think they are ugly, do you assume their economical status?  Think back to your school days and think about your unbridled judgment of your classmates.  Who got picked on in your class?  The smelly kid?  The kid that never wore the name brand fads?  Now let's see how we basely judge people now.  Do you zero in on that Coach symbol on their bag or do you make broad assumptions about a person based on their car's make and model?  Do you chuckle to yourself when the disheveled person at the grocery store buys frozen broccoli instead of fresh?  And to tie this all in, have you ever found any of those people attractive?

Of course I haven't even touched upon the fact that rich pretty people seek out other rich pretty people who then make rich pretty babies who grow up to find their rich pretty people.

Saturday, May 5, 2012

“Only the discoverer of Tutankhamen’s tomb would know how she felt upon finding this treasure"

I have acquired a time capsule.  It was not made by anyone that I know.  It was given to me by a friend saying, "I know that you like to read blogs, so I thought you would enjoy this non-digital blog."

I started a separate blog about this time capsule:  A Human History.

Saturday, April 7, 2012

Random things I have learned

1.  A full keg yields approximately 141 solo cups of beer. (source)

2.  Jewel Staite from Firefly was also on my favorite episode of "Are You Afraid of the Dark?".

3.  "Typewriter" is the longest word you can type using only the top row on a standard U.S. keyboard.

4.  There is a bone in your skull called the sphenoid bone.  (and it it extremely fun to say 'sphenoid')

5.  Chessboxing is a sport.

6.  Callus razors (typically for a pedicure) are prohibited for licensed cosmetologists in most states. (source)

7.  Teacup pigs exist and are adorable. (source)

8.  The voice actor who does Spongebob Squarepants also does Eduardo from Foster's Home for the Imaginary Friends.  (Tom Kenny)

I made a gif!

Well...I added onto a .gif that already exists:

A little background:  We were watching a Star Wars marathon (as in all 6 of them) with some old and new friends.  Everyone sat there in silence as Yoda kicked some Sith ass.  And then as the last blow fell, a voice cries, "Play that shit I do NOT!" and we all lost it.

Thursday, April 5, 2012

Graffito tagging for President

This graffiti inspired so much WTF in me that I can't even think of a good caption for it.